CHAPEL HILL — The University of North Carolina Press announced today that the
scheduled release of “The Roy Williams Dictionary of Neutered Synonyms: Inexplicit
Interjections, Adjectives, Adverbs and Gerunds” has been pushed back until late
summer while the work undergoes a major revision.
Recent events have inspired UNC head men’s basketball coach Williams to add a new
appendix to the planned volume, “Expletives Undeleted: An Unabridged Compendium
of Excited Utterances.”
In a release to the media, UNC Press described the origin of the proposed work:
“Besides being one of the best coaches in college basketball, the erudite Roy Williams
is also an acknowledged expert on the use of euphemisms in the Southern American
dialect. Williams received his bachelor’s degree at the University of North Carolina in
education, and then gained a master of arts in teaching. But his primary academic
interest is in the linguistics of vernacular language, a subject which Williams is not only
an avid student but a polished practitioner.”
UNC Press further indicates that “The Williams Dictionary goes beyond being a
comprehensive collection of euphemistic terms, also providing an innovative scheme
for classifying neutered terms.”
Some summary selections from an early review copy of The Williams Dictionary give
insight into the Williams system as well as the format of the work.
The Rear End Collective Noun Class. Major terms: butt, can, hiney, back end, tail end
and rear end. Typical usage: “We sure didn’t play our rear end off.”
The Dang Adjective Group. Major terms: durn, dern, darn and dang, as well as their
derivatives such as dagnabbit, galldurn and doggone. Typical usage: “We played right
galldurn well.”
The Heck Noun and Adjective Group. Major terms: heckuva, helluva and heck. Typical
usage: “It’s a heck of an ACC race. So we’ve got to play a whole heck of a lot better.
This sure has been one heck of an interview.”
The Freakin’ Adjective Group. Major terms: friggin’, frickin’ and freakin’. Typical usage:
“You may not think so but I think it’s one big freakin’ deal.”
Book trade insiders say that most of the major revisions to the work will be made in the
Freakin’ Group.
The delay by UNC University Press is not unexpected as UNC Press had been hesitant
to publish another book by a men’s basketball coach since the release in 1990, to
notably thin sales, of Dean Smith’s Jokester’s Jokebook.
The working title of the revised Williams book is said to be The Roy Williams Dictionary
of Neutered Synonyms — Now with Actual Obscenities! The expanded edition will
include a special preface by Duke Coach Michael Krzyzewski entitled “*&^%$*(*!!: A
Typographical Introduction to Non-Euphemisms.”
***
Carrboro High renamed
CHAPEL HILL — In what supporters are calling “an effort to move toward post-partisan
politics,” the Chapel Hill/Carrboro Board of Education voted five to one on Wednesday
night to rename Carrboro High School as George W. Bush High School.
The school board was quick to assert that their action was not a response to the recent
renaming of the former Ludlum Elementary School in the Hempstead Union Free
School District on Long Island, New York, to Barack Obama Elementary School.
“Naming schools after presidents is not a new idea. We used to have a Lincoln School
in Chapel Hill, I would like to point out. He was an unpopular Republican too, you
know?” said Board Chair Eloise Strictly.
“While we don’t necessarily agree, as some have argued, that naming a school after
President Obama essentially at the moment he took office is premature, we are sure
that it is not too late to honor just ex-President Bush. We only wish we could have
done this sooner. January 20th at 12:01 pm would have been perfect,” said Strictly
“After watching even just a few days of the Obama presidency, we are beginning to
appreciate how difficult a job the president has,” said Strictly. “In a way, this naming of
Carrboro High to George W. Bush High School is a means of making up for the
constant criticism that was aimed at him. I hope he accepts it in the spirit it was
made,” added Strictly.
The one dissenting vote came from Board Vice Chair Mark Kenney who thought that
Bush/Cheney High School “would make a bolder statement” and would recognize
more clearly the unique co-presidency of George W. Bush and Richard Cheney.
Gary D. Gaddy is married to a fourth-career banjo picker from the foothills of the Brushy
Mountain region who translates Roy for him, when necessary.
A version of this column was published in the Chapel Hill Herald Thursday February 26,
2009.
Copyright 2009 Gary D. Gaddy
garygaddy.com 