GREENSBORO — The Atlantic Coast Conference today announced substantial fines
levied on head coaches Michael Krzyzewski and Roy Williams, of Duke University and
the University of North Carolina, respectively, for their criticism of officials made during
their post-game press conferences following the league championship game last
Sunday. Each was assessed $50,000.
During the game broadcast commentators had noted the frustration of both coaches
with numerous officiating calls.
Specific criticisms of officials made by the coaches cited as conduct violations in the
league report included the following statements.
Krzyzewski: “It is unacceptable to me that the officials continually let my players get
away with obvious hand-checking fouls. It was clear that Nolan (Smith) was regularly
using two hands to check Kendall (Marshall). I can get on Nolan all I want in practice,
in the huddle, during halftime, but if Karl (Hess) and Bryan (Kersey) and Jamie (Luckie)
won’t back me up, I’ll never get through. This (the hand check) was supposed to be a
point of emphasis this year. Sure didn’t seem like one to me, in this game.”
Williams: “I am galldurned fed up with the blocking fouls that’re called on the Plumlee
brothers. What, just because their technique ain’t classic? I didn’t think this sport was
about frickin’ style points. So what if they ain’t Shane Battier? W ho is? Even a blind
ref oughta be able to hear ’em hit the dang floor with a thump. That oughta be worth
somethin’, don’t you think?”
Sidney Lowe’s replacement sought
RALEIGH — As North Carolina State University begins its search for a new men’s
basketball coach following head coach Sidney Lowe’s resignation this week, the
school’s athletic administration announced some of the criteria they will adhere to for
their next hire.
First, the search committee is to look for a proven head coach, one who has coached
in top conference and has demonstrated that he can recruit good players, teach the
fundamentals and coach a good game plan. They also want someone with high moral
standards, clear personal discipline and the authority with his players to keep them in
school, out of trouble and regarded generally as people who are a credit to their school
and community.
The school will be looking for someone relatively young (under 50 years old) but still
with substantial quality head coaching experience (at a minimum, having been named
coach of the year in three different athletic conferences), and excellent personal
academic credentials (having been his high school valedictorian and a summa cum
laude graduate from a rigorous university).
Having established those criteria, the search committee said its next task is to see if
Herb Sendek still owns his house in Raleigh.
NFL and players union hire Aesop Consulting
NEW YORK — The National Football League owners and the NFL Player’s Association
announced that they have agreed to join together to hire Aesop/Golden Goose
Consulting to assist them in their mutual aim of boosting team values, increasing player
salaries and generally accelerating profit growth of America’s currently most successful
professional sport.
“We’ll start by dissecting the sport to see what makes it tick,” said Aesop’s Butch
Geldgrabber. “With our aid, we feel confident working together the owners and players
will make a killing.”
Study shows Henson is all arms and legs
CHAPEL HILL — A collaborative study by the University of North Carolina’s School of
Medicine and its Department of Sport Science has finally shown what commentators
and spectators had thought for some time: UNC basketball forward John Henson
actually is all arms and legs.
UNC Professor of Anatomy Jonathon Langbein said that MRIs clearly showed that
Henson’s arms were attached directly to his legs.
“He has no abdomen,” said Langbein.
“This not only explains how Henson can make some of the seemingly impossible
twisting and turning inside moves he makes on the basketball court but also why his
off-season regime of six high-calorie meals a day had led to so little weight gain,” said
Langbein.
“It is very difficult to put on pounds regardless of how much you eat when you have no
stomach,” he added.
On Sunday afternoon, at the gas station/convenience market formerly known as Starvin’
Marvin’s, Gary D. Gaddy talked to Kyle Singler’s next-door neighbor who had flown in
from Oregon for the ACC tournament. Seemed like a nice guy.
A version of this story was published in the Chapel Hill Herald on Friday March 18,
2011.
Copyright 2011 Gary D. Gaddy
garygaddy.com 