Category: Politics

  • Airlift to stem EU population collapse

    BRUSSELS — In the wake of the crisis meeting of the European Union's Population Board, EU ministers have called on the United States to begin an emergency airlift of "population…

  • Neutered Dictionary’s release postponed

    CHAPEL HILL — The University of North Carolina Press announced today that the scheduled release of "The Roy Williams Dictionary of Neutered Synonyms: Inexplicit Interjections, Adjectives, Adverbs and Gerunds" has…

  • I saw (or heard) it on the sidelines

    MY WIFE AND I have really nice season tickets for the UNC women's home games. So good, sometimes we can't see the game. Like when the opposing coach stands up…

  • Dean Smith to coach Obama’s team

    CHAPEL HILL, N.C. — Hall of Fame basketball coach Dean E. Smith announced today that he is coming out of his decade-long retirement to coach basketball again. Smith will be…

  • Losers — in the Losers’ Bracket

    MY WIFE IS A LOSER. Or at least she is since she met me. (Which may explain why we have grocery bags full of tennis trophies in our basement, very…

  • Satan goes out at the “top of his game”

    DURHAM — Satan announced today that he is stepping down immediately as the primary force for evil in this world. No word has been given on any of his possible…

  • Bad blood: A blue blood feud

    I HATE TO OPEN OLD WOUNDS — but, hey, we are heading fast into basketball season — and I always was bad about picking at a scab. When two of…

  • Price gouging for fun and profit

    THE OTHER DAY, while perversely listening to Air America, conservative little me, I tried to think of something they and I could agree on. My thought: price gouging; now that's…

  • PETA sues McCain and Obama campaigns

    RICHMOND — In a rare display of non-partisanship during this highly partisan political season, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals filed a petition today in United States District Court…

  • Biofuelishness: A darker shade of green

    SOMETIMES THE CURE is worse than the disease; sometimes the side effects are more deadly than the malady itself. I like the concept of renewable energy in general and converting…