Category: Local

  • One long day at Trinity School

    FADED AND JADED AS I AM after teaching all sorts of things at all sorts of levels to all sorts of ages for the past 40 years (I have done…

  • One last chance for Butch Davis

    NOW THAT A FEW WEEKS have passed and I have had a chance to recover from our defeat in the Blue-White Game, I think I have calmed down enough, I…

  • Helping ourselves while helping others

    WHAT IS THE BEST treatment program for people with alcoholism? On a number of occasions I have asked this question to groups of people, and I have always gotten the…

  • Handicapping our future president

    BEFORE TOO LONG (in 15 interminable months) we'll be electing a president here in Chapel Hill. Since, as a member of the mainstream media, I must retain my devout neutrality,…

  • A very, very questionable column

    SOME OF MY MOST DEDICATED readers, who seem to have nothing better to do than try to figure out what I mean by my columns, have sent me a series…

  • It’s time to throw my hat in the ring

    THE TIME HAS COME for me to throw my hat in the ring — where it will be trampled by a herd of jackasses and pachyderms. I am today unofficially…

  • News in briefs by Fruit of the Loom

    Today's news snippets are being brought to you by Fruit of the Loom all-natural undergarments and through the generous support of writers like me. Horace Williams to become spaceport CHAPEL…

  • Global warming thaws Al Gore

    SOUTH POLE STATION, Antarctica – In what climatologists say is the definitive sign that the theory of global warming is fact, Al Gore appears to have spontaneously thawed. Gore's frozen…

  • Bathe French Month is cancelled

    CARRBORO,ju N.C. — The Carrboro Board of Alderpersons voted Tuesday to pull the plug on "Bathe French Month." What was to be a month-long celebration of French hygienic culture was…

  • A salute to my championship season

    WHEN YOU ARE SITTING ON TOP of the bell-shaped curve, resting at the very height of averageness, many would say that it would be hard to go anywhere but down.…