Category: Politics
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Global warming thaws Al Gore
SOUTH POLE STATION, Antarctica – In what climatologists say is the definitive sign that the theory of global warming is fact, Al Gore appears to have spontaneously thawed. Gore's frozen…
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Bathe French Month is cancelled
CARRBORO,ju N.C. — The Carrboro Board of Alderpersons voted Tuesday to pull the plug on "Bathe French Month." What was to be a month-long celebration of French hygienic culture was…
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Truth vs. fiction, and vice versa
MANY OF MY LOYAL READERS, it appears, are, as might be expected, confused. (By application of the principle of contraposition, I conclude that many of my disloyal readers are confused…
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University of North Carolina to hire Republican
CHAPEL HILL, N.C. — In a split vote, the University of North Carolina's Board of Trustees voted to today to broaden its affirmative action policy on hiring to include a…
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The Democrats ‘undemocratic’ proposal
OBVIOUSLY, you missed the hearings, town hall meetings and the referendum, because the North Carolina Senate voted late on Monday, May 14, 2007 to pass, by straight party-line vote one…
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A Pop Quiz on Illegal Immigration
THE PRIMARY PROBLEM with our illegal immigration "problem" is that our problem is also a solution. While you and I, sitting comfortably in our Chapel Hill estates, may perceive that…
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Global warming: Hot air as a greenhouse gas
GLOBAL WARMING finally came to Chapel Hill. It's called spring. Seriously, global warming is without a doubt taking place. With all the hot air being spewed out about climate change,…
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End the Legacy of Racism at UNC
APOLOGIZING, as the NC Senate did recently, for slavery was a nice gesture. Now we should do something about it. Since slavery has been abolished already, without any help from…
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We need to treat, not arrest, those with mental illness
BEFORE I really begin, let me make one personal recommendation to you: If you are going to get a disease — choose your organ carefully — because if you have…
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Duke discovers it’s in North Carolina
DURHAM, N.C. — Duke University President Richard Broadhead announced today that researchers from the University's geography department had just discovered that the Duke campus was physically located in the state…
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