Category: 2007
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Helping ourselves while helping others
WHAT IS THE BEST treatment program for people with alcoholism? On a number of occasions I have asked this question to groups of people, and I have always gotten the…
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Handicapping our future president
BEFORE TOO LONG (in 15 interminable months) we'll be electing a president here in Chapel Hill. Since, as a member of the mainstream media, I must retain my devout neutrality,…
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A very, very questionable column
SOME OF MY MOST DEDICATED readers, who seem to have nothing better to do than try to figure out what I mean by my columns, have sent me a series…
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It’s time to throw my hat in the ring
THE TIME HAS COME for me to throw my hat in the ring — where it will be trampled by a herd of jackasses and pachyderms. I am today unofficially…
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News in briefs by Fruit of the Loom
Today's news snippets are being brought to you by Fruit of the Loom all-natural undergarments and through the generous support of writers like me. Horace Williams to become spaceport CHAPEL…
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Global warming thaws Al Gore
SOUTH POLE STATION, Antarctica – In what climatologists say is the definitive sign that the theory of global warming is fact, Al Gore appears to have spontaneously thawed. Gore's frozen…
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Bathe French Month is cancelled
CARRBORO,ju N.C. — The Carrboro Board of Alderpersons voted Tuesday to pull the plug on "Bathe French Month." What was to be a month-long celebration of French hygienic culture was…
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A salute to my championship season
WHEN YOU ARE SITTING ON TOP of the bell-shaped curve, resting at the very height of averageness, many would say that it would be hard to go anywhere but down.…
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Schadenfreude and other sports terms
IN MY CONTINUING QUEST to educate the not-so-squalid masses of the Orange County vicinity, I have decided to fall back upon one of my more dependable areas of expertise: modern…
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Coming down from
MANY OF YOU, I know, are sitting on the edges of your seats waiting with bated breath to hear how I did at USTA North Carolina Senior Men's 3.5 Doubles…
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